kl.0830: Hello, where was I? I am awake? What is this noise of light? Do alarms have hands that mend nightmares like a handyman? Can I scratch my pussy with my pinkie? Why, look- my hands look lovely. Maybe I turn right and sleep right now? Just a little bit longer..
kl.0900: That was quick. I didn't sleep a wink. Ha. Gym at 10. Is the garden of Eden better today? I hear nothing. Maybe I should see nothing. Stop fidgeting. Just a little bit longer..
kl.1030: All those alarms do nothing. When I say nothing, I mean the weight of 21 ants, the sound of eyelashes clashing when it is windy, the smell of soap when you have cold.. I am so deluded. I set the alarm everyday without fail, to fail. Delusion is mostly over-driven optimism. But optimism, without it- I'd be dead.. just a little bit longer..
kl.1145: Food delivery. Don't brush your teeth, wear a little lipstick and tip. No one notices your foul breath. Keep your distance. I think my nipples were showing. I hate these brief interventions of exterior sounds. Just a little bit longer...
kl.1210: I am not sick. I am lazy. But I am not lazy, I am sick. Nothing is acceptable, while everything is forgiveable. That is why the anatomy of self-love makes the whole system dysfunctional these days.. If you don't get it, you are doing well. Just a little bit longer..
kl.1540: I blink too much when I look at red paintings, I blink too much when I am walking past healthy humans, I blink too much when I eat a carrot, I blink too much when I am thinking about sonnets, I blink too much when I walk down the stairs, I blink too much just most of the blinking time. Blinking too often makes you appear untruthful. But in a staring competition, I win without a blink. So when is the best time to lie? I wonder...just a little bit longer.
kl.1830: Had to throw away the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, the leaves were snapping. Forgetting to water plants is not a sin yet (Mother dear would disagree). But destruction of beauty makes it feel like one. This obsession with beauty is basically not an evolutionary prerequisite, just a pseudo-intellectual exaggeration. Weaknesses unnecessary and absurd, just a little bit longer..
kl.2230: I did not move much today. But I moved within. Just a little bit longer...
Pierre et Gilles