There is a lot of looking back these days, looking back at the shadows touching toes, and going through creases and folds of memories all too tied up under forgotten luggage. Maybe it is so, because I can't sit still. One can't afford to sit still when being plodded; even in memory because it is poisonous.
ii
Today on my way home from Blindern, I thought about the monkey business. The monkey, once hated and now embraced. Growing up in Kathmandu, you routinely end up in temples with family where the darn monkeys swing and seize! Stray dogs and monkeys have always co-existed with Kathmandu basi..Thus,as a Kathmandu basi this monkey business, though now seemingly insignificant or simple, was ghastly once
As a teenage, I'd have send all the monkeys of the world to hell or Mercury (oh so hot & cold). I'd have gladly taped all of them together on a float and let them drift into the ocean, or maybe shoot them into space- never to be heard from again (anger all too bellowed with clichés). I hated monkeys, hated them with a feverish stun gun in the heart. It didn't help that daddy dear enjoyed them so much. I never got how or why he once had a pet monkey. Never understood why he'd go feed those juvenile bastards peanuts or sit next to them, as if he still was one of them. Maybe what baffled me was his complete trust and fondness for those miscreants and why the vile creatures never even hissed at him!
On one occasion, near Guhjeshwari temple a curiously feisty troop of monkeys came snarling at me. They slowly pulled on my kurta and climbed on me. I remember some tourists even took pictures of the spectacle while the family slightly amused, looked on, telling me to relax and not scream. I remember I had my eyes shut tighter than tight; them paws, so sharp and vindictive! The loathing was instant and then very, very constant.
iii
But now after all these years & a pinch of introspection, I don't hate them. I do not even wish to get rid of them. I would/do not throw rocks at them or secretly wish for them to evaporate. Besides, those monkeys wouldn't have attached themselves to me if only I had let go of all the trinkets in my clutched hand that they probably wanted. I was told to let it go, but I vaguely remember any specific instructions. In the face of fear, some of us are a wall of dull cement -unmoving, rigid & stupid.
iv
I wonder why hatred is such an easy route, why it comes so easily when we keep our eyes shut and refuse to relax. empathize or understand? Why do we loathe things we fear, why can't humans let go of the vulgarity of superficial condemnation.. The world could be a better place in its absence. Idealistic glasses might be on right now but really there is a lot of useless hatred floating around in pockets of all humans.
After the earthquake, Nepal's population seems to have roused worse political vocabularies and ideologies full of pretence. I normally do not rant about what is happening elsewhere except my own head and self. But what is happening there somehow is not far away from me. All the darn hatred and discord in Nepal, that sprang out from disgruntled politicians in Kathmandu is everywhere now Mechi dekhi Mahakali.... It is infectious, it erodes edges of our potential peace. But then again, we have always been conditioned to ridiculous self/communal sabotage. Without repeated error, all men would be immaculate heroes. But time is ticking and bad feelings seem to be just growing. Darn immaculate heroes, kata ho?
v
Anyhow now we should relax, not keep our eyes shut & let go of whatever unnecessary trinkets we are clutching. Or at least, try because in the end you are going to live together. All monkeys must co-exist.
Monkeys BEHAVE !
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