so weak, so disappointing

kl.0830: The first alarm sounds like a teacher, who is very kind and somewhat fastidious. I never ignore it. So today, I woke up only to rediscover the fact that I am still not in any good shape to battle with the disobedient eyelids. Snooze alarm had to be set up; I act surprised every time. 


kl.0915: I hate the early-morning I; so weak, so disappointing! 


kl.1230: Trying to gain some weight is not as easy as you might think. I lost so much during Christmas and New years, that now I feel invisible at times. The wind had been particularly strong last week, I felt like a leaf. A leaf is an insignificant amount, while 7 kilograms is a lot of atoms. Lunch was heavy. Long live turkeys! 


kl.1810: Being in gupatabaas is a strange stimulation of the needy-distraction-muscles. 


kl. 2145: The romantic appeal of alcohol-free life is much to do with the dislike for outnumbering human commotion and noises. But it also might have a lot to do with the need for silence on a friday. Living 50 meters away from the new 'hispterlane' doesn't bother the mind. My music is just as loud. I feel so dignified in my lack of alcoholic interests. If my mother knew I'd be like this one day, I don't think 'being grounded' would have been implemented so frequently. But then again, it was hardly ever successful. Rebellion always starts out young and injurious. 


kl. 2330: The more I read that is disguised as studying, the more I rebel. The more I am required to stay away from distractions, the more logic collapses. But discipline is vital. I shall not smoke more pot tonight.  


kl.2355: Breaking primary rules is more exciting than letting go of secondary ones. 


kl.0140: If misspelling other's name is a deadly sin, then what is misspelling your own name? 


kl.0231: [ Not late night, but early morning surfing] Just read the news that a 30 year old psychiatric patient in Lovisenberg sykehus hit an employee with a crowbar, stole the keys and ran away. 'The police are considering the man dangerous'. Is that man really dangerous, or maybe he just have had enough of staying in on a friday? But yeah, I hope someone finds him soon. It is kinda cold out there.  

Hamish Heath